Cierra is making a pipe, eh? Well that ought to be fun.... To uh.... Fake smoke with. I know from experience! Do you remember that one time that Jared Gaskill gave me that pipe for Christmas and I tried to smoke oregano? Yeah me too.... I remember sucking a bunch of oregano into my mouth. Worst. Moment. Ever.
The DL position is going alright. Pretty darn humbling. I am realizing more and more what a cruddy teacher I am, so Heavenly Father is really refining me. I've been getting some good counsel from my Zone Leaders. I really do love Elder Weidner. He helps me out so much. He'll never know how much I look up to him, but I really do.
Which brings me to my story for this week! Well, a combination of stories....
It's another hilarious one, so you are welcome:) I will be telling this story till the day I die.
Friday night, Elder Smith and I went on exchanges with the Zone Leaders. I went to Lethbridge with Elder Weidner and Elder Smith stayed in Taber with Elder Fairbanks. As Weidner and I were driving to Lethbridge, we talked for a while and really got to know each other. We had a ball. We got back to their apartment in Lethbridge and got winding down. Elder Moss and Elder Harris were still staying at their flat because of the violence that had happened there a little over a month ago. It was a good time;) The best part was this. Weidner, Moss, and Harry were all in the bedroom talking, but I had to have a wee, so I went into the bathroom. I sat down - yes, I sat down. Don't judge. I was tired... - ready to go. But then I saw tiny little legs underneath the baseboard of the wall opposite me. I panicked. They began to move out from under the board, and a huge, red, nasty, centipede was revealed. It was disturbing. But the most disturbing thing was that it ran AT me. Like, full on attack mode. So I just stopped having my wee - because I was so scared - and I pulled up my pants and ran out of the bathroom. I screamed for the others in the bedroom saying "QUICK! COME HERE! IT'S ENORMOUS," which I quickly realized was an incredibly unfortunate wording, and they all looked at me weird. I told them it was a huge bug. Then Elder Weidner went HAM. He has a pretty irrational - but in this case VERY rational - fear of insects. When we looked back in the bathroom, we saw it crawl underneath the base of the toilet. It was out of reach now. But Elder Weidner could not leave it there alive. Elder Harris was sleeping on the floor, and if we left it alive, we were convinced he would be dead by morning. So Weidner grabbed a knife and began scraping the blade all over underneath the toilet. Nothing happened. We had to get under the toilet somehow. So here is what Weidner decided to do.
He ran into the bedroom and grabbed his lighter and a can of shoe odor-reducer. He then knelt on the floor of the bathroom and proceeded to spray a spout of flame under the toilet. It was beautiful. This went on for around 20 minutes. No lie. We only went to bed once we were totally convinced that the little bugger (pun intended) was dead.
AND THAT'S NOT EVEN THE BEST PART OF THE EXCHANGE!
The next day we woke up and did studies and all that jazz. We proselyted the whole day through. We went to a place called Henderson Lake in Lethbridge. It's a park right next to the lake. We street contacted there for hours, and the night was winding down. It was at this time that we got a call from the Assistants to the President. They told us that they had mail for us and that they would meet up with us at the park. They got to the park and we got our mail in our car. Then Elder Kelly - the AP's are Elder Kelly and Elder Smith - asked us where we wanted to eat. There weren't a whole lot of options in Lethbridge since everyone with me ate there all the time.
But there was one place.
Makisu Sushi House.
I have told you about it before. It was the first restaurant I had ever eaten at in Canada. But what I didn't know is that there is a challenge in the mission. Makisu is all you can eat, and Kelly and Smith wanted not only to eat there, but to set a record for the highest amount of Sushi rolls ever eaten by Missionaries there. So Makisu it was.
We arrived at the Sushi House and took our seats. All of us had broad smiles and a determination to do what we had come there to do. And that was to eat 300 Sushi Rolls between the 4 of us. Makisu is a buffet, and we were all hungry. So we began ordering. Every kind of sushi you could imagine. Crab, shrimp, salmon, tuna, California rolls.... It was all there. Kelly wasn't a huge fan of fish, so they even had chicken rolls. We were eating at an incredible rate.
As we began getting more and more full, we realized that 300 sushi rolls was going to be an impossible goal. We're missionaries. We know when goals are realistic or unrealistic. So we altered our count to 200. We HAD to make it to two hundred. Minutes passed... We kept on slamming roll after roll. But we were nearing our goal. Now the crazy things began to happen. Elder Weidner ordered some sushi that he particularly didn't like. It was on accident, but we didn't know how to recover. It was a really grimy sushi. It had pieces of mango on the top, and Weidner hates mango. Smith had also eaten a Tempura roll, which is enormous. It's the width of a coaster for a drink, except much more thick. So they were both really struggling. Weidner was really hurting, but he said he could finish off the grimy sushi if we would keep going to get to the goal. Smith then told us that he'd help Weidner. It was up to Kelly and I to finish the order off. We decided to order chicken rolls for the remaining count. We could slam them for days. So we ordered. The sushi came and we began.
At this point, Elder Weidner was DYING.... He ate the last sushi of his share, and almost threw up all over the table in the process, but he manned up and held it down like a boss. Bet then tragedy stuck. The waitress approached us with one more platter of sushi and told us that we had ordered it. These were the final count to reach the 200 count. The only problem was that it was a whole platter of the grimiest sushi on the menu. The roll was a black wrap filled with rice and a raw piece of pink fish meat. The texture of these rolls is enough to kill you. But we couldn't just let the goal down.
Elder Weidner.... That blessed, blessed man... Decided that he was going to help us. But before he did, he decided he was going to clear his palette.... And he did this by taking a chunk of Wasabi out of the dish in front of him and chucking it into his mouth.
Smith, Kelly, and I SCREAMED for him not to do it. But he did it...
His eyes were panicked at first..... And then they closed. The chopsticks fell from his trembling hands onto the table. His hands raised slightly and slowly, hands open, palms to the sky. It was so slow and serene. He then opened his eyes and tears began to stream down his eyes as he looked to heaven for help.
At this point Kelly, Smith and I are laughing our guts out. Which really only made us feel more sick in the long run, but it was worth it. While Weidner was recovering, Kelly and I finished off the chicken rolls. Now the only thing left was the dreaded black wrap rolls. We each took turns plugging our noses and snarfing them as fast as we could. At one point, poor Weidner - he really is a team player. So incredible - insisted that he help some more. He popped another into his mouth, almost barfed AGAIN, and swallowed successfully. Then the pain hit. He leaned against the wall and just looked at me. He then quoted the Lord of the Rings, the Two Towers when Frodo and Sam are in Osgiliath:
"I can't do this, Elder Warenski..."
Elder Kelly began laughing so severely here we thought he would vomit. He was in tears.
I looked back at him and said "I know, Elder Weidner.... We shouldn't even be here..... But we are...."
It was all very dramatic. As you can tell.
At this point Elder Smith said he needed some alone time in the bathroom. He left and then 10-15 minutes later came back and reported that he had thrown up. But it was alright! The goal still stood because he didn't barf up any sushi. Apparently it was all just bile. He pounded one more roll, and then Elder Kelly had the last one. He couldn't do it. He hated fish so much.
So I took it. I tossed it in my mouth, plugged my nose, chewed, and swallowed with all the might that I could muster.
We had done it. 200 sushi rolls at Makisu. We have gone down in History. Mission Legends.
I have attached some pictures. The order of Elders is thus:
Elder Smith, Elder Weidner, Elder Warenski, Elder Kelly
In the 2nd picture, Elder Weidner is making the exact gesture that he made when he foolishly downed the Wasabi.
I hope you all enjoyed the story! I love you all!